Imago is Latin for image and refers to the composite image in our unconscious of our early caretakers. This image includes both the positive and negative character traits of these caretakers. We take this composite into our adulthood and it is the impulse that guides our unconscious in choosing a mate.
Nature provides us with a partner that holds both the positive and negative traits of our caretakers so that we can re-create the emotional environment of our early childhood in order to grow and heal. In the beginning, we are aware of only the positive attributes of a potential partner, but as time goes on, it seems that the person we have chosen is incapable of meeting our needs.
This could appear to be a cruel joke, but on closer examination, what we are really seeing is evolutionary wisdom. In order to be worked out, our old wounds must be re-triggered and brought into the foreground. This struggle is the beginning of the opportunity to create a different outcome. We get to do it over and make it right through the work we do in relationship.
However, unless we become conscious of this natural process and learn the skills necessary to negotiate the frustrations that come up, our relationships will become a source of pain.
Imago Relationship Therapy is a powerful way to enrich our relationship experience. Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and his wife, Helen, Imago has been popularized in the books, Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. By becoming conscious about our partnerships, we will unlock the parts of our childhood that hold us hostage in our adult relationships and begin the process of maturation and healing.
Restored connection with ourselves and the other is in reach of all of us if we are willing to be dedicated to the process.
